You
automatically want to answer 'YES'. Better must be possible!
But, I have
come to the conclusion that many people are far more comfortable with 'NO'.
The easiest
and safest thing to do is accept what you've been given, to assume that you
can't change, that the cards you've been dealt are the only ones that are
available to you.
When you
assume this, all the responsibility for outcomes disappears, and you can relax.
I meet people
who tell me, sometimes proudly, that they don't believe in this
"self-help" stuff. Most commonly because they are fully set, they
don't need any more development.
I'm surprised.
First, because all help is self help (except, perhaps, for surgery and the
people who work at makeup counters who give away freebies). But even this sort
of help requires that you show up for it. Mostly I'm
surprised because there's just so much evidence to the contrary.
Fear, once
again fear, is the driving force here. If you accept the results you've gotten
before, if you hold on to them tightly, then you never have to face the fear of
the void, of losing what you've got, of trading in your success for your
failure.
And if you
want to do this to yourself, well, I guess this is your choice. But don't do it
to others. Don't do it to your kids, or your students, or your co-workers.
Don't do it to the people in underprivileged neighborhoods or entire
countries.
Better might be difficult, better might involve
overcoming unfair barriers, but better is definitely possible. And the belief
that it's possible is a gift.
We owe everyone
around us the optimism that they can reach a little higher. To write off people
because you trade getting better for staying comfortable is terribly sad.
Better is a
dream worth dreaming!
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