10 Body Language Mistakes to Avoid To Be Great

Until we get to know someone, our brain relies on snap judgements to try to categorise the person, predict what they will do, and anticipate how we should react. You may have heard that you only have a few seconds to make a first impression, but the truth is, you have already made up your mind about a person within milliseconds of meeting them.

According to research done by a Princeton University psychologist, it’s an evolutionary survival mechanism. Your brain decides from the information it has — in other words, your physical appearance — whether you are trustworthy, threatening, competent, likeable and many other traits.

One way you can “hack” this split-second judgement is to be aware of your body language, especially in important situations. Whether you’re applying for a job, asking for a raise, or meeting with a new client, tweaking or just being mindful of your body language can influence the other person’s perception of you and the outcome of the situation.

Here are 10 common body language mistakes to watch out for: 

Crossing your arms
Looks defensive, especially if you’re answering questions. Try to keep your arms at your sides and be aware what your hands are doing. 

Failing to smile 
Makes people uncomfortable. They wonder if you really want to be there. Go for a genuine smile especially when meeting someone for the first time. 

Breaking eye contact too soon
Can make you seem untrustworthy or overly nervous. Hold eye contact a fraction longer than the other person, especially during a handshake or introduction. Fidgeting = instantly telegraphing how nervous you are. To be avoided at all costs. 

Checking your phone or watch
You want to be somewhere else. And it is just bad manners. 

Leaning back 
You come off lazy or arrogant. 

Leaning forward 
Can seem aggressive. The solution: aim for a neutral posture. 

Staring 
Interpreted as aggressive. There’s a fine line between holding someone’s gaze and staring them down. 

Looking up or looking around 
Someone is lying or being evasive. Try to hold steady eye contact. 

Stepping back when you ask a question or ask for a decision
Fear or uncertainty. Stand your ground, or even take a slight step forward assertively with conviction. 

Standing with hands on hips 
An aggressive posture, like an animal puffing their chest up to look bigger.

But I still don’t know what to do with my hands? 

Holding your hands behind your back or in your pockets 
Rigid, stiff and unapproachable. Aim for a natural, hands at your sides posture. 

Holding palms up 
A begging position. Tends to convey weakness.

That is a lot to take in. Can you give me a summary?

Okay, here goes.

Keep your posture in a neutral position, whether sitting or standing. Stand and sit with your arms at your sides and your hands in your lap palms toward your legs. Pay attention so that you naturally hold eye contact, smile, and be yourself.

If you discover you have a particular problem with one or two of the gestures on the list, practice by yourself with a mirror or with a friend who can remind you every time you do it, until you become aware of the bad habit yourself.

I had a particular problem with one thing not on the list: I would nod my head in agreement excessively. I looked like a bobble-head doll! I put an elastic band around my wrist and encouraged all my staff to snap it when they saw me nod excessively. That behaviour didn’t last much longer! 

Are there any other body language blunders you would add? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below. 
I hope this helps you to be outstanding.
That is all -
David

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