Until we
get to know someone, our brain relies on snap judgements to try to categorise
the person, predict what they will do, and anticipate how we should react. You
may have heard that you only have a few seconds to make a first impression, but
the truth is, you have already made up your mind about a person within
milliseconds of meeting them.
According
to research done by a Princeton
University psychologist, it’s an evolutionary survival mechanism.
Your brain decides from the information it has — in other words, your physical
appearance — whether you are trustworthy, threatening, competent, likeable and
many other traits.
One way you
can “hack”
this split-second judgement is to be aware of your body language, especially in
important situations. Whether you’re applying for a job, asking for a raise, or
meeting with a new client, tweaking or just being mindful of your body language
can influence the other person’s perception of you and the outcome of the
situation.
Here
are 10 common body language mistakes to watch out for:
Crossing your arms
Looks defensive, especially if you’re answering questions. Try to keep your arms at your sides and be aware what your hands are doing.
Looks defensive, especially if you’re answering questions. Try to keep your arms at your sides and be aware what your hands are doing.
Failing to smile
Makes people uncomfortable. They wonder if you really want to be there. Go for a genuine smile especially when meeting someone for the first time.
Makes people uncomfortable. They wonder if you really want to be there. Go for a genuine smile especially when meeting someone for the first time.
Breaking eye contact too soon
Can make you seem untrustworthy or overly nervous. Hold eye contact a fraction longer than the other person, especially during a handshake or introduction. Fidgeting = instantly telegraphing how nervous you are. To be avoided at all costs.
Can make you seem untrustworthy or overly nervous. Hold eye contact a fraction longer than the other person, especially during a handshake or introduction. Fidgeting = instantly telegraphing how nervous you are. To be avoided at all costs.
Checking your phone or watch
You want to be somewhere else. And it is just bad manners.
You want to be somewhere else. And it is just bad manners.
Leaning back
You come off lazy or arrogant.
You come off lazy or arrogant.
Leaning forward
Can seem aggressive. The solution: aim for a neutral posture.
Can seem aggressive. The solution: aim for a neutral posture.
Staring
Interpreted as aggressive. There’s a fine line between holding someone’s gaze and staring them down.
Interpreted as aggressive. There’s a fine line between holding someone’s gaze and staring them down.
Looking up or looking around
Someone is lying or being evasive. Try to hold steady eye contact.
Someone is lying or being evasive. Try to hold steady eye contact.
Stepping back when you ask a question or ask for a decision
Fear or uncertainty. Stand your ground, or even take a slight step forward assertively with conviction.
Fear or uncertainty. Stand your ground, or even take a slight step forward assertively with conviction.
Standing with hands on hips
An aggressive posture, like an animal puffing their chest up to look bigger.
An aggressive posture, like an animal puffing their chest up to look bigger.
But I still
don’t know what to do with my hands?
Holding your hands behind your back or in your pockets
Rigid, stiff and unapproachable. Aim for a natural, hands at your sides posture.
Rigid, stiff and unapproachable. Aim for a natural, hands at your sides posture.
Holding palms up
A begging position. Tends to convey weakness.
A begging position. Tends to convey weakness.
That is a
lot to take in. Can you give me a summary?
Okay, here goes.
Keep your posture in a neutral position,
whether sitting or standing. Stand and sit with your arms at your sides and your
hands in your lap palms toward your legs. Pay attention so that you naturally
hold eye contact, smile, and be yourself.
If you
discover you have a particular problem with one or two of the gestures on the
list, practice by yourself with a mirror or with a friend who can remind you
every time you do it, until you become aware of the bad habit yourself.
I had a
particular problem with one thing not on the list: I would nod my head in
agreement excessively. I looked like a bobble-head doll! I put an elastic band
around my wrist and encouraged all my staff to snap it when they saw me nod
excessively. That behaviour didn’t last much longer!
Are there
any other body language blunders you would add? I’d love to hear your ideas in
the comments below.
I hope this helps you to be outstanding.
That is all -
David
Read Similar Articles Here
I hope this helps you to be outstanding.
That is all -
David
Read Similar Articles Here
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