Motivational Monday: Chasing
Daylight
On May
24, 2005, Eugene O’Kelly stepped into his doctor’s office with a full calendar
and a lifetime of plans on his mind. Six days later he would resign as CEO of
KPMG. His lifetime of plans dwindled to 100 days, leaving him just enough time
to say goodbye.
I read
this amazing book, Chasing Daylight, in one day. And I am not ashamed to admit
that tears flowed.
The
book details the three and a half months between the diagnosis of O’Kelly’s
terminal brain cancer and his death. His haunting yet extraordinarily hopeful
voice narrates the book and reminds us to embrace the fragile, fleeting moments
of our lives – the time we have with our family, our friends and even
ourselves. O’Kelly is totally honest about his fears. What really moved me was
his simple yet profound writing style. For example, consider this brief
passage:
The business of dying is hard. The
wrapping up. The paperwork, the legal work. The stuff that is maddening about
life when life is going well. Of course, the other stuff when dying – the
physical stuff and huge emotional stuff – can be unspeakably awful. But if
paperwork is enough to break your spirit – and it is – then how can you have
anything left?
The
impact of those few sentences continues to move me no matter how many times I
read them. He could be writing about anything: selling a house or making plans
for a trip. But it becomes clear he is talking about courage, about leaving
this earth the right way.
Just
imagine you are the CEO of a major accounting firm, where you started your job
as assistant accountant in 1973. You are only fifty-three years old and still
have so much of your life in front of you. Or at the least a tempting
retirement plan. But then you learn that you have inoperable brain cancer. It
is the end of life as you planned it. Chasing
Daylight speaks to us simply because we are human. Perhaps this book moved
me because I am a similar age to O’Kelly. Or perhaps it is because I lost a
good friend to cancer this year and am still shaken by the loss. For anyone
reading Chasing Daylight it is a
singular insight into the mind of a man who knows he is going to die – simply a
part of the human condition met early and thus greatly feared.
When
O’Kelly discovers the seriousness of his disease, he does what he was trained
to do as an accountant – he makes lists: “1. Leave my job, and 2. Choose a
medical protocol that allowed me to.. 3. Make the time remaining the best of my
life, and as good as it could possibly be for those most affected by my
situation.” Next he creates a to-do list for his final days: “*get legal and
financial affairs in order, *‘unwind’ relationships, *simplify, *live in the
moment, *create but also be open to great moments, *begin transition to next
state, *plan funeral.” An accountant to the end.
The
title of the book comes from his routine of playing golf with his wife after
getting home from work – playing golf throughout that summer, chasing daylight.
His love of his family is deep and the end of the book is truly staggering. His
wife writes the last chapter, telling the story of how he died. She also
corrects the reporting if his final days since his brain cancer was spreading
and his reality was not reality.
Our
lives and the people in them are temporary joys, but the time we spend enjoying
them is never lost. And if we can conquer our fears – even the fear of facing
the end of our lives and leaving those we love – we can conquer anything.
That is all -
David
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