Focus On What You Will Do, Not What You Won’t Do
Do you want to
successfully lose weight?
Quit smoking?
Or put a lid on your bad temper?
Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves.
Research on thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t think about white bears!”) has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behaviour — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.
Quit smoking?
Or put a lid on your bad temper?
Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves.
Research on thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t think about white bears!”) has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behaviour — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.
If you want to change
your ways, ask yourself,
"What will I do instead?"
For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.
Let me know how focusing on what you will do works for you.
"What will I do instead?"
For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.
Let me know how focusing on what you will do works for you.
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