Self-Respect (Conclusion....at least for now!)

The more important our values, the more they will affect our self-esteem. Sometimes we have values that clash. Sometimes they clash because they are the opposite of each other and sometimes because we can’t honour both at the same time (e.g. doing a great job at work and spending quality time at home).

When there’s a rift between how you’d like to honour a value, it leads to a loss of integrity. That loss of integrity is the cause of lowered self-esteem.

If you have low self-esteem, that means you need to go back to your values and reassess them and then reassess how you can rearrange your life to feel like you are living with integrity based on what matters to you.

If you’re like me, you might wonder you can possibly live with integrity based on all your varied values. What helps me is to challenge all-or-nothing thinking. Sometimes it can seem that if you can’t do things right or all the way, it’s a non-accomplishment.

Integrity is built from a pattern of small and consistent actions. Little changes can indeed build into big changes. One step at a time, a little bit each time, really does work magic.

How Can I Work On Living My Values With Integrity?

•  Firstly, KNOW your values.

•  Keep your values at the centre of your awareness. Know when you have an internal conflict between values.

•  Walk the talk. Try to make sure you have integration between your values and actions.

•  Learn how to give things up. Ask yourself, “What am I really willing to sacrifice?” And if you do decide to give things up, do it without feeling bad about it or feeling guilty. It is simply a decision.

•  See yourself as a unique person who has many resources.

•  Use the words: “I choose to_______” instead of helpless phrases like “I can’t because_________” or “I am like this because of_________”. You have a choice. You decide the circumstances.

•  DON”T listen to the voices in your head which give you a litany of excuses why you can’t do something. Those voices don’t want change. They want to keep the status quo. Evict them.

•  Be assertive. If you don’t want to do something, say you don’t want to do it.

•  Don’t beat around the bush. If something is important, go for it.

•  Visualize and plan. Know what you want and plan for it.

Self esteem is like a bank account. When you live your values with integrity, you are making deposits into the bank of self esteem. Would you rather be rich or poor? You are the one who decides how many deposits you make.

If you enjoyed this then please check my Twitter page for more.