Your Friday Lesson with Richard Branson

Seek a Second Opinion. Seek a Third.

Richard Branson says you must learn to be a good listener in order to succeed, and that means bouncing “every idea you have off numerous people before finally saying, ‘We’ll give this one a miss,’ or ‘Let’s do it.’”

That means being thorough and deliberate before executing any decisions. In business, seeking a variety of opinions "can save you a lot of time and money," says Branson. "Don't tell people about others' suggestions until you've heard what they have to say. In the end you may decide that the best advice is to walk away—and later find out it was the very best solution."

Shark Bait

During a research experiment a marine biologist placed a shark into a large holding tank and then released several small bait fish into the tank.

As you would expect, the shark quickly swam around the tank, attacked and ate the smaller fish.

The marine biologist then inserted a strong piece of clear fiberglass into the tank, creating two separate partitions. She then put the shark on one side of the fiberglass and a new set of bait fish on the other.

Again, the shark quickly attacked.  This time, however, the shark slammed into the fiberglass divider and bounced off.  Undeterred, the shark kept repeating this behavior every few minutes to no avail.  Meanwhile, the bait fish swam around unharmed in the second partition.  Eventually, about an hour into the experiment, the shark gave up.

This experiment was repeated several dozen times over the next few weeks.  Each time, the shark got less aggressive and made fewer attempts to attack the bait fish, until eventually the shark got tired of hitting the fiberglass divider and simply stopped attacking altogether.

The marine biologist then removed the fiberglass divider, but the shark didn’t attack.  The shark was trained to believe a barrier existed between it and the bait fish, so the bait fish swam wherever they wished, free from harm.

The moral:  Many of us, after experiencing setbacks and failures, emotionally give up and stop trying. Like the shark in the story, we believe that because we were unsuccessful in the past, we will always be unsuccessful. In other words, we continue to see a barrier in our heads, even when no ‘real’ barrier exists between where we are and where we want to go. 

“What if I’m not good enough?”

A fear of not being good enough is what guarantees that you never will be. A fear of being defeated is what warrants your defeat. 

If you never pick up that keyboard, or pencil, or paintbrush, or whatever instrument you use to craft your work, because you’re afraid that someone else might do it better than you, your prediction will automatically come true.  Remember, defeat is not the worst of failures.  Not having tried at all is as bad as it gets.

And as far as failure itself is concerned, you’re not obligated not to fail.  You’re obligated to keep trying – to do the best you can do every day.  That’s all.  

And you’re always good enough to do that!

The floor is yours…

What would you add to the list?  What negative questions do you sometimes ask yourself?  Please leave a comment below and let me know.

Self-Respect (Continued Part 3)

Last week I suggested that values and integrity were the key to self-esteem. So what are values? Values are deeply held beliefs that guide us in what is right and wrong.

Values are subjective, because every single human being views life through their own subjective point of view. Every person’s point of view is unique and therefore every person’s set of values is unique. Our values act as our compass in our lives.

We are made up of our personal values. Our personal values are a combination of values ingrained in us from an early age as well as ones we have adopted ourselves over the years.

What makes values important? Because they are a set of rules we have for leading our lives, they let you know what is important to you and help you prioritise. Values help you gain clarity and focus in your life. Values help you make decisions- which leads us to integrity.

What Is Integrity and Where Does It Fit In? According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, integrity is a firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.

In order to be a person of integrity we have to live up to the values we hold to be important. Again notice how subjective this all is—the values we hold to be important.

With integrity, it doesn’t matter what your values are. It matters whether or not you live up to them. Integrity is the integration between your values and your actions.

So How Are Values and Integrity Connected to Self Esteem? Society may expect certain things from us, yet we are the ones who choose whether or not we internalize external social values and make them our own.

One of the things that I have learned over the years is that it is okay for other people to have different points of view, and if I truly believe something is right, in general or right for me, it does not matter what others think. I have begun to trust my own value system and not rely only on what others think.

Each of us has many values. Not all of our values are as important to us at the same time. Things also shift over time.

If you are enjoying this series, then I invite you to join me next week.

Your Friday Lesson with Richard Branson

Define Your Brand

When it comes to defining your brand, Richard Branson advises entrepreneurs to do the opposite of what he did with Virgin, which is spreading out all over the place. And while it's true that Virgin branches into many different industries, Branson says the company is actually quite focused on one thing: "finding new ways to help people have a good time."

Stick to what you know. Underpromise and overdeliver. Because if you don’t define your brand, your competitors will.

The Weight of the Glass

Once upon a time . . . .  a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students.  As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question.  Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter.  It all depends on how long I hold it.  If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light.  If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little.  If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor.  In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water.  Think about them for a while and nothing happens.  Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little.  Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

The moral:  It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses and worries.  No matter what happens during the day, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.  Don’t carry them through the night and into the next day with you.  If you still feel the weight of yesterday’s stress, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.

              WHY ME?                                      

If you think that only a privileged few have the ability to live a great life, you are sabotaging yourself.  You are privileged – to be here – to have this opportunity.

If every morning you wake up and say, “Yes, today is going to be a great day.” And every afternoon you find a reason to say, “Yes, today is a great day.” And every night you find a reason to say, “Yes, today was a great day.” Then one day, many moons from now, you’ll look back, smile at the memories and say,

“YES, I lived a great life!”

Be the one of the valiant few who looks at their dreams and says, 

“WHY NOT ME?”

and then goes for it!

The floor is yours…

What negative questions do you sometimes ask yourself?  Please leave a comment below and let me know.

Self-Respect (Continued Part II)

Last week I posed a few questions, one of which was: How do we raise our self-esteem and keep it at a high level?

I know for me it has been and is still is a daily and almost constant battle to keep my self-esteem at a normal to high level. Some days I do better than others.

What has changed over the past year or so is that I have realized what it is that triggers my self-esteem ups and downs.

So what is self-esteem? According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, self-esteem is a confidence and satisfaction in oneself or self respect. Easily said, so how do we gain confidence and satisfaction in ourselves? Why is it that some people have higher self-esteem and some have lower self-esteem?

Here is what I’ve discovered:Self esteem is inseparable from your values and your integrity.

Next week we can explore values and integrity.

Your Friday Lesson with Richard Branson

Not Everyone is Suited to be CEO

A manager needs to be someone who “brings out the best in people,” someone who communicates well with others and helps an employee learn from a mistake instead of criticising them for it.

Not everyone does this well, and that’s okay.  The founder can but doesn’t have to be the CEO; if the fit isn’t right, he or she should know when the role is meant for someone else.