Are you self-critical? If so, you are not alone. Many criticise their own performance - and this is another confidence buster.
If you're self-critical of your performance and dwell on shortcomings, how will you grow your confidence?
We know perfectionists, for example, tend to be very self-critical and scold themselves for mistakes. How many times have you said: "If only I hadn't missed that _ _ _ _ _ _ !"
People who are committed to improvement, especially perfectionists, sabotage their confidence by being overly harsh about their performance. When assessing their own performance, they:
- Focus on the mistakes and missed opportunities
- Are self-critical of their performance
- Can't remember the good elements
- Disqualify any positives about their performance
- Can't feel satisfied even when they do well because they never perform up to their high expectations
- Want to perform perfectly and view less than perfect as a failure
What can do to avoid this confidence buster? After all, you want to earn confidence not tear it down.
Here are a few mental game strategies to consider:
(1) First, try to be objective about your performance (instead of subjective). When you are subjective, the emotions take over, such as frustration and anger, and that's when you can be the most self-critical.
(2) Be your own best coach. How would you look at your performance if you pretended to be the most positive coach you know? What are two positive things a coach might tell you about your performance that would make you feel satisfied or more confident?
(3) Focus on your assets instead of mistakes. Ask yourself: What are two things you did well today?
(4) Focus on improvement, not shortcomings. Instead of thinking about all the reasons you failed or messed up, think about what you want to improve next week. Feel confident knowing you have worked to improve areas that will help you perform better the next time.
Do not derail your confidence with self-criticism and self-reproach.
To Your Success
David
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