Start Doing The RIGHT Things

Last Wednesday I asked if life had to be so complex (http://buff.ly/X4Epd4) and I promised some ideas on simplifying things. As promised her goes:

1.  You look to everyone else for the answers only you can give yourself. For much of our lives – especially at the beginning – we get told what do, how to think, what looks good, what “success” is, etc. You don’t have to buy into any of it anymore. Feel free to think for yourself. Listen to yourself. Break the mould. When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you are more likely to find exactly what you are looking for.

2.  You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way. Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them. Take a moment and think about it. Are you doing things because you truly believe in them? Remember your own goals. Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.

3.  You allow toxic people to affect you. You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance. You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.

4.  You are part of the drama circle. How would your life be different if you walked away from drama, gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day you speak only about the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same. Those that refuse to support you CAN be ignored by you. It’s as simple as that.  Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it. Don’t get caught up in drama. Just walk on by.

5.  You assign negative intent to other people’s actions. Another driver cut you off in traffic. Your friend never texted you back. Your colleague went to lunch without you. Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a daily basis. So what caused you to be offended?  You assigned negative intent to these otherwise innocent actions. You took it as a personal insult – a slap in the face. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t take things personally. Don’t assign negative intent to the unintentional actions of others. Let today be the day you look for the good in everyone you meet.

6.  You are too worried that people will steal what you have. Let this be your wake-up call, especially if you’re an artist, writer, entrepreneur or creative type: There is always more to be gained from sharing knowledge than from hoarding it. Don’t worry about people stealing your work; worry about the moment they stop. Be honest, helpful and undeniably good at what you do. No clever marketing scheme, social media buzzword, or competitor can be a substitute for that, ever. Whenever people want what you have, regardless of the circumstances, you’re doing it right.

7.  You’re trying to compete with everyone else. If you compete with everyone else, you will become bitter.  If you compete with a previous version of yourself, you will become better. It’s as simple as that.

8.  You have been too much of a taker. One way to deal with stress and loss is to immerse yourself in doing good for others. Volunteer. Get involved in life. It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured event. Say a kind word. Encourage someone nearby. Get away from your self-preoccupation for a while. When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. Givers are happy. Takers are still unhappily wondering what’s in it for them.

9.  You choose popularity over effectiveness. Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer and it’s far more useful in the end. Above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness. Being popular means you’re liked for a while. Being effective means you’ve made a difference.

10.  You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. Do what is right, not what is easy. And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know. Why? Because YOU will know.

Your turn…...... 

As you know, when we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life gets easier. It just makes sense. So how have you been making your life harder than it has to be? What can you do today to simplify things?  Leave a comment below and let us know.

Motivational Monday - Self Confidence is the Key to Success

Blaming others for anything and everything has become a chronic disease in society. Why should we expect someone to come and help us? To depend on others is a form of slavery. No good comes of blaming fate, karma or circumstances. Only a person of confidence can convert challenge in to an opportunity.

The stories of successful people reveal the truth that in spite of their tremendous confidence they were not always successful. But the difference between ordinary people and great ones is this:

Great people never consider defeats and failures as obstacles; on the contrary, they turn them into steeping stones to success, whereas ordinary people get discouraged and stop moving further.

Great people are fully aware of the power within themselves, capable of overcoming huge obstacles and continuing their march until they reach their desired goal.

“The fool never begins a work for fear of failure; the mediocre gives up in the middle, frustrated by obstruction; but the man of confidence never gives up, in spite of failures, till the goal is reached.”

Every success story is the story of great failures. The only variation is that every time they screwed up, they sprung back. This is called failing frontward, rather than backward. You learn and move forward. Learn from your failure and keep moving.

Whenever you get knocked down can you continue to get up and take a step forward?

Please Don't Make Me Endure Change

I turn on the radio and everyone is talking about how they want change. People want a better economy, but nobody’s willing to share in the financial hit it will take to get back on track.

People want better schools, but nobody wants to rock the system, the unions, the teachers, and the role of parents.

People want lower insurance, but nobody wants to adopt the changes in lifestyle and behaviour that will drive it.

People want to be thinner, healthier and happier, but nobody wants to own the actions it takes to get there.

People want homeless brothers and sisters off the street, as long as it is N.I.M.B.Y. (not in my back yard).

Everyone wants to own the result; nobody wants to own the process.

Especially when it involves change or disruption to the patterns around which they have grown accustomed.

A smart person once told me Maslow got it wrong. The fundamental need is not survival, but rather the need to not have to endure change. I laughed, however increasingly, I am finding truth in those words.

What do you think?

Does Life Need To Be So Complex?

"Life is not complex.  

We are complex.  

Life is simple,
 and the simple thing is the right thing.
"

Oscar Wilde

Remember back to when you were younger…..life was easier, right? I know sometimes it can seem that way. But the truth is life can still be easy. The big difference is we are older. And the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.

When we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences.  At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. 

When this happened several times, we eventually decided we didn’t want to fall again. But rather than trying to solve the problem that caused us to fall, we chose to avoid it all together.

As a result, we ate and drank to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. 

And when that didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

If you nodded your head to any of the points I raised here you will want to read next week’s blog for ways you’re likely making your life harder than it has to be, and some ideas on simplifying things.

Motivational Monday - Why Shoot For The Stars, When You Are Made of That Stuff!

Understand that 90% of your body mass is made up of stardust, because all of the elements except for hydrogen and helium are created in the stars!

You have the capacity for infinite greatness within you and are made up of the same elements that we find in the heavens!

We must believe that we have the mind, the strength and the courage to do the same, if not greater – than all of the greatest achievers throughout history.

Let’s never lose sight of the infinite greatness that lies within us.

It’s up to you to tap into this source of power, first through seeking knowledge and then taking action, which is simply applied knowledge!

Remember that you are made up of the stars to live a life of infinite greatness!

What Two Words Did Rory McIlroy Use To Win The Open?

Rory McIlroy, the newly crowned 2014 British Open champion, proved Sunday that the fewer pre-shot thoughts a golfer has to consider, the better.

"They’re very simple. I just kept telling myself two words," McIlroy told ESPN about the couple of "trigger words" he used as mantras all week to help him maintain his inner peace.

Those words, for all you weekend warriors with a million thoughts blasting through your head as you hover over every shot for what seems like hours, were "process" and "spot," McIlroy revealed, as promised.

"Process, which is just ‘focus on my process’ and 'focus on don’t care about the result, just really get into the process,’" McIlroy said. "And spot -- for my putting: ‘just pick your spot, roll it over your spot,’ and that was it, 'process and spot.'

"There were only two words that I really had in my head for the four days," stated McIlroy, in what one could perceive as a massive understatement, "and they seemed to work pretty well."

McIlroy made a series of major life changes after a banner year in 2012. He changed his equipment after signing a long-term deal with Nike. He moved to South Florida. He endured a management shakeup that led to a legal battle that will be heard in court in January. He tried to maintain a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend, Danish tennis star Caroline Wozniacki, even sending out wedding invitations before breaking it off earlier this year.

His game suffered.

“I never had doubts,” said McIlroy, who said his low point came when he shot 79-75 and missed the cut at last year’s Open at Muirfield. “You can’t doubt your own ability. All I had to do was look back at some of the great tournaments that I played. The ability was still there. That wasn’t it. I was just trying to find a way to make it come out again.”

As for what the win meant to McIlroy, the 25-year-old from Northern Ireland teared up as he related the importance of Sunday’s victory. "It means an awful lot," he said with emotion. "This is the first major championship my mum’s been at when I’ve won and to be able to see her on the back of the 18th was -- it was really nice to be able to share a moment like this with them."

So for those non-golfers amongst us what can we learn from McIlroy? When performing complex tasks don’t give yourself too many things to think about. He had just two key words.

Focus on the process and not the outcome. If the process is correct then you will most likely get the outcome that you desire.

And, maybe not lastly, you must keep believing in your own ability.